Top Ten Worst Metal Albums Of 2011…..

Posted: December 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

                                                                           “……..The Hell Is This?”

 I’m going out on a limb here, and saying you read my last post “Top Ten Metal Albums of 2011“. If you did, thank you very much. But now it’s onto a more negative subject. The worst of the worst. The bottom of the barrel. The cream of the crap. In other words, the ten metal albums that were not just “bad”, but badddddddd. To be fair, like I said in the last blog, 2011 was a damn good for metal. Albums that were good outweigh the bad, but there’s still 10 that are just so damn bad, it would be treason to not talk about them. So here it is, the top ten worst metal albums of 2011….

10. Emmure – Speaker Of The Dead

 February 14, 2011

 Where to start with this one….Well, other than the fact they are trying wayyyyy too hard to be a “heavier” Limp Bizkit, these guys just do not get the concept of metal. If this album were under the genre “rap techno stuff” I would say they were right. But metal? Nope. The breakdowns are repetitive as anything. Absolutely no feeling in the vocals. And if there were a guitar tab book for this album it would go 0-0-0-000-0-0. The mere existence of this album is sad, truly a mess of mixed genres and all that’s wrong with modern metal.

9. Winds Of Plague – Against The World

 April 19, 2011

Let me paint you a picture. Imagine Nightwish suddenly going all “core” on us, and adding a touch of Vanilla Ice. You see it yet? Well, the end culmination is Winds Of Plague. The symphonic deathcore boys (yes such an atrocity exists) are quite possibly the strangest combination of bad and really bad. The press release was the most ridiculous statement possibly ever made, “….the heaviest-hitting record of the band’s already heralded career.” Really? Hitting. Yes. Heavy. Hell no. The worst song possibly ever made is on this album. An aptly titled “California” is a fusion of symphonic deathcore with two bandana donning white guys rapping. No, this is serious. The video isnt much better, with them standing on what seems to be Venice Beach, and rapping, switching to a concert scene of balloon animals with crappy crowd surfing. Welcome to the worst list, guys. It should become familiar place sooner or later.

8. Pathology – Awaken To The Suffering

 September 14, 2011

I’ll give the band this much. The instrumentation is great. But for some reason, the vocals seem to be sound good to them, but to anyone with two ears, they sound like toilet vomiting. Whatever reason these guys did that for, I dont know. Replace the vox with Tom Araya or George Fisher, you have yourself a mediocre death metal album. Leave the vox in with the guy who “sings” them now, and it may the worst sounding death metal of all time. Like I said, the instrumentation is fine, but the obviously manipulated vocals of Jonathan Huber are just disgraceful. If the  vomiting toilet is your thing, so be it. But to most matured metalheads, it sounds like crap. No pun intended.

7.  Jamey Jasta – Jasta

 July 26, 2011

Let me start by saying I am a big fan of both Hatebreed and Kingdom Of Sorrow. But, the latest venture by Mr. Jasta is just a poor attempt at “sportcore” metal. The monotous tone of his voice (which is a fairly new issue for him) is just plain boring. The themes of the songs do not speak to everyone, or anyone at that. With a guest thrown in on nearly every track, Jamey is trading off cheesy lyrics with vocalists who, sorry to say, are billions of times better than him. I would talk about the instrumentation, but I don’t think it’s neccessary, due to the mere fact Jasta did barely any touring or press for the album, and never even mentioned the rest of the band members names or anything. I really hope this is not an indication of where Jamey is going musically, because he is a great guy, and has written many inspiring songs, but this album just fell dead in the water.

6. Cynic – Carbon Based Anatomy

 November 15, 2011

In the early 1990’s, the name Cynic would entail the praise of an up and coming Floridian death metal. With its early lineups of Sean Reinert on drums, Paul Masvidal on guitar, and soon to be Cannibal Corpse axeman Rob Barrett, they recorded nearly 4 demos of straight death metal. Than they released the awkward 1994 debut “Focus“, which was a death jazz experiment. Some loved it, some hated it. To this day, nothing has changed. Minus a few members, Cynic is still weird as fuck. Their newest album “Carbon Based Anatomy” is not just weird, it just sucks. With influences of avant garde art rock, and spoken word, Cynic have all but abandoned metal music altogether. The end result is an exhausting ride of WTF’s and not knowing what track is which. Sorry to say, but its time for Cynic to re-consider what their doing. Either pack it in, or make good music…Simple as that.

5. Queensryche – Dedicated To Chaos

 June 28. 2011

In their early days, Queensryche were what mainly consider to be “real old school metal”. With the pipes of Geoff Tate, and the guitar work of Chris DeGarmo, Queensryche drew influence from forefathers like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, and released two epic albums as such. But than came the 90’s, and latter influence was all but gone, with the new influence of prog rock. No big deal there( prog rock is actually a good type of music), but the trend of changing your style never seemed to cease for Queensryche. Their newest album is no different, in that it draws influence from vocalist Geoff Tate’s new found obsession with cabaret music. The result is a mess of thin guitars, awkward hip-hop attempts, and even some strange disco influence. The mere cacophony is an abysmal listen, making most who have an ear for music call it a day and turn off the album. Queensryche are almost not even recognizable as themselves on this album, and it shows theyve lost their way. Real bad.

4. Limp Bizkit  – Gold Cobra

 June 28, 2011

Oddly released the exact same day as Dedicated To Chaos, this album is just Limp Bizkit being Limp Bizkit. I don’t know what their motive is, who or what pushes them to make this style of music. But the outcome is just pathetic. Fred Durst is as much of a bum as always. The trailer trash lyrics with ludricuous statements of club going, hoe loving, and all around wiggery make this album destined for the hands of confused Midwestern kids. But, for whats it worth, Limp Bizkit havent changed. For us thats bad, for the fans its a good thing. In general, most people hate Limp Bizkit. Kerry King even almost quit music because of this band, and if there is ever a reason to hate a band, its because they almost ended Slayer. Limp Bizkit, you suck.

3. IWrestledABearOnce- Ruining It For Everybody

 July 26, 2011

From the start, this band has been somewhat of a complete mockery of all that metal is supposed to be.From the weird blending of like a billions musical genres (hence the album title) to the faux announcement they became a black metal band (on April Fools Day) this band has become the laughingstock of humanity. Their only fans are most probably 13 years old, or just seriously into hallucigenic drugs. The song titles are almost nausesting stupid ; “Deodorant Can’t Fix Ugly” ,  “Karate Nipples”  , and of course “It Is “Bro” Isn’t It?”  . Whoever signed these fools to Century Media must be insane. Drop them and they wither away, and stop making a mockery of metal music as we know it.

2. Black Veil Brides – The Legacy

 June 14, 2011

Quite possibly the worst thing to come out of California since the Raiders, these guys are just really, really bad. Their self proclaimed “glam rebirth” is something no one was praying for. Anywhere. The boasting of “youth” and “rebellion” is about as 1985 as a pair of leg warmers. The day this band disbands is the day I breathe a sigh of relief. Many a time have I said I have a strong hatred of all this band does and stands for. Tricking young kids into thinking youre something youre not is about as bad as anything. The music is beyond bad, and the image is like Marilyn Manson meets Vince Neil. There is nothing to say about the album. Its garbage.

And the #1 worst metal album of 2011 is………………………..

Metallica and Lou Reed – Lulu


  October 31, 2011

Where to start?? I dont think a worse album has ever been recorded, let alone released. Metallica, who have officially dismembered any hope of rebirthing their legacy, have hammered the nail into their coffin. In early April, guitarist Kirk Hammett came out and said they were working on a new album, but admitted it was going to be “different”. What he meant to say was, “Yea, we hired some old hipster to rant and rant and rant about prostitutes and self mutialtion, while Lars plays the drums with this mouth , and James and I play random power chords!”. That is about the sum of the album right there. Lou Reed sounds like Grandpa from The Simpsons after a couple shots and a stroke. The instruments are like crashing windows at a nursing home. The backlash for the album is soft compared to what it should be. There is absolutely no good  music on this album, and frankly, there is nothing to say except, burn it.


                                                                                                                                                Because heavy matters



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